


The Best Hugs

by WhiteravenGreywolf



Series: If I stay [46]
Category: Captain Marvel (2019), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Carol is everyone's mom, F/F, Five Year Gap, Nebula is making friends, Nebula is too precious, Post-snap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-12
Updated: 2019-05-12
Packaged: 2020-03-01 12:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18800647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteravenGreywolf/pseuds/WhiteravenGreywolf
Summary: Carol is very much intrigued by Nebula, who hangs around the Avengers HQ silently, never coming too close to anyone. Until one evening, when Nebula tries to finally make a friend (that isn't a talking Raccoon or a genius billionaire philanthropist)





	The Best Hugs

**Author's Note:**

> I HAVE INTERNET!!  
> I don't really, it's lunch at my grandparents' and they have Internet so I'm leeching off their Internet. I'll use that time to correct any mistakes in the stories I've posted last week, and prepare the ones I want to post this week, also change de damn tags and make them fun!  
> Anyway, can we just all agree that Nebula is too precious and she needs to be protected at all cost? I love her so much.  
> You should expect the next story on Tuesday, I don't want to wait until Wednesday like last week so Internet or not, the next story will be on Tuesday! Now if you'll excuse me, I have an episode of Game of Thrones to watch... Enjoy!

Of all the people stationed at Avengers HQ, the one that intrigued Carol the most was definitely Nebula. Nebula, like Rocket, had lost everything in the snap. Nebula, who had not even shed a single tear after Thor had beheaded Thanos. Nebula, who spent her days wandering the halls, then the garden, then the halls again, like she was waiting for something to happen, and today just wasn't the day it would happen. Nebula, who, unlike Rocket, had no fraternized with the others Avengers much. Rocket always seemed to be in the room where there were the most people at any given moment, tinkering with something. It was as if he dreaded the silence and loneliness. Nebula almost seemed to relish in it.

  
Even after Monica's return, Carol had trouble sleeping. She wasn't the only one, but she at least didn't wake up in a pool of fearful sweat, the image of her friends turning to dust before her eyes. If she was glad for anything, it was that she hadn't been there to witness the others Avengers – or god forbid, Maria – falling to dust. No matter how selfish it sounded.

  
It was common to find people hanging in the living room in the middle of the night. They took turns, and after one too many sleepless nights Carol had established a time table of everyone's troubled sleep habit. It would start at ten p. m., when almost everyone had retired to their room, trying to finally get some sleep. Thor would come by and steal a six pack from the fridge. Carol would offer to drink with him, and they would sit at the counter, in silence, drinking. She stopped after two beers because even if they had no effect on her they tasted like regret and guilt, and there was only so much of that she could swallow without feeling like she was about to vomit her guts out.

  
Once Thor would retire to his room with more alcohol, It was usually midnight. Carol would prepare three cups of tea, and sure enough, Natasha, Bruce, and Steve would emerge one after the other. Nat would take the cup gratefully. Bruce would simply nod thank you. Steve never took his tea, so Carol kept it for herself. The four of them would sit and talk about the future, whatever that could be. Once or twice Monica came around, but she declined the tea for a bottle of water directly from the fridge. Carol saw her applying the bottle on her forehead like she was trying to calm a fever. Or a racing mind.

  
Again, one after the other, the three of them would return to bed. For about an hour, between two and three in the morning, Carol was alone in the living room. She wondered if that was the time Tony would usually wake up with nightmares if he was the missing slot in her nightly time table. She hadn't heard from him since he'd been strong enough to leave the HQ, which he had done in a hurry.

  
By three, it was time for Rhodey to get up, and never fall back asleep. So they talked about their shared experience in the Air Force or their love for 80s movies. By four thirty Rhodey would grow restless, and leave to do his physical training. Some time before, usually around four, Rocket would have gotten up, to work on his spaceship. Carol would go to give him a hand, not because she was particularly talented in fixing ships, but because she could relate to Rocket's stories about the Guardians, and he liked to tell her about them. To keep their memories alive. Carol could relate to that too, but she could never talk about Maria, not without chocking on her own tears. She never stopped wearing her ring though and looked at it at least five times a day. As the sun rose and the other Avengers left their rooms, with or without having fallen asleep, Carol was left with the desperate fear that she was going to forget Maria, that in a week she would forget what she looked like when she smiled and that in a month she would forget what her laughter sounded like. Nothing had ever terrified her like that before.

* * *

  
  
Carol already knew she wouldn't be able to sleep that night. She'd had an almost full night of sleep the previous night, she would have too much energy to sleep that night. So she went to the living room and waited for the clock to turn to ten, for Thor to walk into the room and take the beers out of the fridge.

  
To her surprise, Thor was not the first to join her in the living room. Nebula was. She tentatively entered the room, and silently sat down in the couch on the other side of the room. She glanced a few times at Carol but didn't say anything. Carol watched her do with interest. It seemed Nebula wanted to say something, but she didn't know how to say it. So Carol decided to initiate the conversation.

  
"I see Tony fixed you up pretty good," Carol started, mentioning to the orange plates on the side of her head.

  
Nebula self-consciously passed her hand over the side of her face.

  
"Yes. I suggested a blue that could blend with my skin color, but he assured me it was better to do it in orange. I still don't understand why."

  
Carol smiled. Of course Tony would go for a flashy color.

  
"It looks good on you, don't worry."

  
Nebula looked away. After a beat of silence, she replied:

  
"Thank you."

  
Carol could see that Nebula was doing an effort. She was trying to interact with someone, to socialize, to make friends. Tony had probably encouraged her to do so, since he was her only friend on Earth, with Rocket.

  
"How's Tony?" Carol asked. "I haven't heard from him in a while."

  
"Tony has recuperated from his infection," Nebula said. "He and Pepper have settled into a cabin by the river, two hours from here."

  
"Cool. I never knew Tony liked cabins."

  
"He told me he was inspired by his favorite couple, who lived in a small house with a big garden for over thirty years."

  
Carol frowned, feeling a pang in her heart. Whether Tony had been talking about her or not, the mention of her home still struck her like a knife to the heart. Nebula instantly noticed something was wrong, and Carol could visibly see the walls closing off around her. She fell silent once again. Carol knew she would have to initiate the conversation again.

  
"You don't stop by the living room often."

  
She saw the hesitation in Nebula's eyes, but eventually, Nebula answered:

  
"I have a problem with crowded places. Tony said you people called it social anxiety? I don't know how to interact with people. It has always been complicated for me, ever since Thanos..."

  
She looked at her blue hand. Carol knew it was synthetic skin, not her real one. She didn't know the extent of the modifications Thanos had done to Nebula, but she knew it was probably very hard to find real skin on her.

  
"But he said I should make friends here if I am to stay."

  
Carol smiled.

  
"I'm honored you want to become my friend."

  
"You remind me of someone. She was not as powerful as you, but she smiled all the time, and she liked to be funny, even if she never was."

  
Nebula's voice died down, and Carol understood quickly why. She decided to change the subject.

  
"What else did Tony tell you to do?"

  
"He said we should play. That is how he and I became friends."

  
"Play? What game?"

* * *

  
  
Ten minutes later, Carol was seating at the table, across from Nebula, and holding up her hands to make a goal.

  
"Like that?" she asked.

  
"Exactly. Do not try to catch the triangle, I have made that mistake before. Your hands must remain still."

  
"Got it."

  
Nebula aimed and flicked the paper triangle toward her. It passed over her fingers and flew on the other side. Nebula smirked victoriously.

  
"That is a point for me."

  
"My turn then?"

  
"Yes."

  
Nebula placed her hands to form the goal, and Carol aimed the triangle. It was a whole lot more difficult than it looked. She flicked it too much to the right, missing Nebula completely.

  
"No points for you. My turn!"

  
Carol smiled. This was a side of Nebula she had never thought she had in her. She had a playfulness hidden very deep in her. She had most likely buried it to resist everything Thanos had put her through. Carol was happy to see it resurface.

  
Nebula flicked the triangle, scoring another point. She wasn't smiling just yet, but Carol could see a glint of happiness in her eyes.

  
"Can I ask you a question?" Carol started, as she prepared herself to flick the triangle.

  
Nebula seemed to grow a bit more nervous. Carol missed again, not by much this time. She readied her hands. Nebula scored again. As Carol picked up the triangle, she replied:

  
"Depends on the question."

  
Carol nodded. She knew there were things that were better to be left unsaid, for now anyway.

  
"Are you going to stay on Earth now, or do you plan to go to another planet?"

  
Nebula seemed to think about it for a moment as if the question had not even hit her mind until now.

  
"I do not want to remain on Earth. However, this planet doesn't know who I am. I have been marked on a large number of planets as the daughter of Thanos, and if people know who was responsible for the decimation of their loved ones, they will not hesitate to attack me. I am safest on Earth," she concluded.

  
Carol smiled at her.

  
"Don't worry, if anyone even dares to come after you, we'll protect you."

  
Carol flicked the triangle, and it finally landed passed Nebula's fingers.

  
"Yeah!" she fist-pumped. "One point for me!"

  
"It's too late, I already scored three points. I won," Nebula said.

  
"Oh, what?!"

* * *

  
  
It became a ritual, for about a week. Nebula would come around some time into the evening, and they would play a few rounds of Tony's game – Tony had never bothered to tell Nebula the name of the game, so she called it Tony's game. Sometimes Carol would ask her questions. Sometimes they would talk about anything. Neither of them dared to talk about the painful stuff. One time, Rhodey asked if he could play with them. Nebula seemed unsure and even a bit offended that he would ask, but Carol gave him her place, and after a few rounds, Nebula relaxed enough to acknowledge Rhodey as a valiant opponent.

  
Everyone had been so busy fixing the ship that they had completely ignored when the first-month commemorations of the snap had happened. They were hopeful, sure that they could fix it, reverse it somehow, and there would not be another month to commemorate. So when the second month rolled around, everyone's morale plummeted once again.

  
Carol, for her part, had taken to the calm of the rooftop, where she could cry in peace. She didn't cry, though. She kept her eyes on her wedding ring and tried to remember every detail about Maria she could. Looking at pictures was still painful, and she could only count on her memory. Two months without her had been the most painful experience of her life. She'd spent months into space helping one planet or another, and that had not been as soul-wrangling as those two months had ever been. Back then she had known she would return home to Maria. Now there was no home to return to. She could imagine a pile of dust on the floor of their living room, and that was the extent of what she was willing to imagine.

  
After wallowing on her own for some time, she decided to go see how Monica was doing. Maybe they could cry together. However, as she turned around, she saw someone in the distance, seating by the river. The figure was so brightly blue she knew it could only be Nebula. She decided to go check on her.

  
She flew down from the roof and walked to the small wooden pier. She thought she was being loud enough, but apparently, Nebula was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't hear her coming.

  
"How are you holding up?"

  
Nebula jumped up, dagger at the ready. Carol quickly took a step back and held out her hands. Nebula relaxed slightly when she saw it was only Carol.

  
"Sorry, I thought you had heard me," Carol said.

  
Nebula placed the dagger back in her belt and brushed her arm over her face. Carol thought for a moment she had cried, but she noticed her cheeks were still dry.

  
"Are you okay?" Carol asked again.

  
Nebula sighed and sat back down on the bench. Tentatively, Carol came to sit beside her.

  
"Two months ago my father snapped away the only friends I ever had. Before that, he killed my sister. I am trying to mourn them. I am trying to cry their death, but I can't cry anymore..."

  
Carol's heart broke at her words. She felt the rage against Thanos she thought she had extinguished ignite once again. Even if it was completely useless, and the bastard was already dead and gone.

  
"Do you... Can I hug you?" Carol asked.

  
Nebula seemed surprised by the request, at first. However, she didn't protest it. Instead, she nodded silently, her gaze lost in the water. Carol slowly wrapped her arms around Nebula. Her skin was unnaturally cold. She didn't flinch away when it made contact with her own, however. Instead, she held her closer. She gradually strengthened her hold, giving Nebula time to pull away if she wanted to. Nebula didn't move and let herself be held. In turn, she slowly relaxed in Carol's arms.

  
"I'm sorry about your friends and your sister," Carol said.

  
"Tony told me you lost the love of your life," Nebula said quietly, "How do you not hate me for it? How can you even stand me?"

  
Carol ignored the sadness stabbing at her chest.

  
"I could never hate you for something you didn't do. It was all Thanos' doing."

  
"Yes, but I helped him. Even when I had the choice to, I stood by his side."

  
Carol sighed. She imagined Nebula's guilt must have been rooted even deeper than hers.

  
"Abusive relationships... They're complicated, okay? My dad was a monster too. Not the genocidal type but still a pretty bad dude. My mom stood by his side for all these years when he beat my brother and tried to bring me down. Physical abuses are one thing but psychological ones... And you had to go through both for most of your life. In the end, you didn't stand by him. You tried to save everyone. That's what matters."

  
Nebula nodded silently. Carol thought she was going to ask her to let go, but she slowly moved one of her arms to wrap it around Carol.

  
"Thank you, Carol."


End file.
